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September 1, 2005

Music Meme

Memes are one of the ubiquitous features of digital communication these days. It used to be the case that a "meme" was a "thought/idea." For instance, "John Kerry is a flip-flopper" was considered a meme when it was first floated by the Republicans. Memes were infectious idea-bits. This understanding of "meme" was quite interestingly explored in Neal Stephenson's Snow Crash.

Nowadays, however, memes are those Internet things that everyone does on their blogs (like Silly Quiz Tuesdays), like quizzes and asking your friends questions, and the like.

A recent meme is the Music Meme -- go to Music Outfitters, sroll down the page to the listings of the top-100 pop songs since 1950, listed by year, and go through the listing of the year you graduated from high school, marking the songs you love, hate, and don't recognize.

Now, it's a valid question to ask -- why are these things so addictive? Why do so many people do them?

But a more important question is: WHY THE HELL ARE THE SONGS FOR MY YEAR SO TERRIBLY, UNBELIEVABLY, DISGUSTINGLY BAD?!?! It's not merely the paucity of good songs, it's also the sheer magnitude of the suckiness of the bad ones.

Songs I actually like or can at least tolerate are in bold. Songs I can't stand are in strike-through, and songs I can't remember are left alone. See below:

1. Look Away, Chicago
2. My Prerogative, Bobby Brown
3. Every Rose Has Its Thorn, Poison
4. Straight Up, Paula Abdul
5. Miss You Much, Janet Jackson
6. Cold Hearted, Paula Abdul
7. Wind Beneath My Wings, Bette Midler
8. Girl You Know Its True, Milli Vanilli
9. Baby, I Love Your Way/Freebird, Will To Power
10. Giving You The Best That I Got, Anita Baker
11. Right Here Waiting, Richard Marx
12. Waiting For A Star To Fall, Boy Meets Girl
13. Lost In Your Eyes, Debbie Gibson
14. Don't Wanna Lose You, Gloria Estefan
15. Heavan, Warrant
16. Girl I'm Gonna Miss You, Milli Vanilli
17. The Look, Roxette
18. She Drives Me Crazy, Fine Young Cannibals
19. On Our Own, Bobby Brown
20. Two Hearts, Phil Collins
21. Blame It On The Rain, Milli Vanilli
22. Listen To Your Heart, Roxette
23. I'll Be There For You, Bon Jovi
24. If You Don't Know Me By Now, Simply Red
25. Like A Prayer, Madonna
26. I'll Be Loving You (Forever), New Kids On The Block
27. How Can I Fall?, Breathe
28. Baby Don't Forget My Number, Milli Vanilli
29. Toy Solider, Martika
30. Forever Your Girl, Paula Abdul
31. The Living Years, Mike and the Mechanics
32. Eternal Flame, The Bangles
33. Wild Thing, Tone Loc
34. When I See You Smile, Bad English
35. If I Could Turn Back Time, Cher
36. Buffalo Stance, Neneh Cherry
37. When I'm With You, Sheriff
38. Don't Rush Me, Taylor Dayne
39. Born To Be My Baby, Bon Jovi
40. Good Thing, Fine Young Cannibals
41. The Lover In Me, Sheena Easton
42. Bust A Move, Young M.C.
43. Once Bitten, Twice Shy, Great White
44. Batdance, Prince
45. Rock On, Michael Damian
46. Real Lov, Jody Watley
47. Love Shack, B-52's
48. Every Little Step, Bobby Brown
49. Hangin' Tough, New Kids On The Block
50. My Heart Can't Tell You No, Rod Stewart
51. So Alive, Love and Rockets
52. You Got It (The Right Stuff), New Kids On The Block
53. Armageddon It, Def Leppard
54. Satisfied, Richard Marx
55. Express Yourself, Madonna
56. I Like It, Dino
57. Soldier Of Love, Donny Osmond
58. Sowing The Seeds Of Love, Tears For Fears
59. Cherish, Madonna
60. When The Children Cry, White Lion
61. 18 And Life, Skid Row
62. I Don't Want Your Love, Duran Duran
63. Second Chances, .38 Special
64. The Way You Love Me, Karyn White
65. Funky Cold Medina, Tone Loc
66. In Your Room, Bangles
67. Miss You Like Crazy, Natalie Cole
68. Love Song, Cure
69. Secret Rendesvous, Karyn White
70. Angel Eyes, Jeff Healey Band
71. Patience, Guns N' Roses
72. Walk On Water, Eddie Money
73. Cover Girl, New Kids On The Block
74. Welcom To The Jungle, Guns N' Roses
75. Shower Me With Your Love, Surface
76. Stand, R.E.M.
77. Close My Eyes Forever, Lita Ford
78. All This Time, Tiffany
79. After All, Cher and Peter Cetera
80. Roni, Bobby Brown
81. Love In An Elevator, Aerosmith
82. Lay Your Hands On Me, Bon Jovi
83. This Promise, When In Rome
84. What I Am, Edie Brickell and The New Bohemians
85. I Remember Holding You, Boys Club
86. Paradise City, Guns N' Roses
87. I wanna Have Some Fun, Samantha Fox
88. She Wants To Dance With Me, Rick Astley
89. Dreamin', Vanessa Williams
90. It's No Crime, Babyface
91. Poison, Alice Cooper
92. This Time I Know It's For Real, Donna Summer
93. Smooth Criminal, Michael Jackson
94. Heavan Help Me, Deon Estus
95. Rock Wit'cha, Bobby Brown
96. Thinking Of You, Sa-fire
97. What You Don't Know, Expose
98. Surrender To Me, Ann Wilson and Robin Zander
99. The End Of The Innocence, Don Henley
100. Keep On Movin', Soul II Soul

No wonder I hated high school so much. You would, too, if you had to listen to this crap.

(Thanks to New Kid for suggesting leaving plain the songs you have no clue about.)

Posted by reparent at September 1, 2005 1:44 PM

Comments

Um, like, I was in SIXTH GRADE when My Prerogative came out. (hee, hee) Seriously--I didn't know Bobby Brown knew big words like that. I guess that's what producers are for.

Posted by: sster at September 1, 2005 5:51 PM

You know, there's nothing like the callowness of youth to make one feel so very, very old...

Posted by: Richard Parent [TypeKey Profile Page] at September 2, 2005 7:49 PM

ouch! alright. I'm sorry. :(

Posted by: sster at September 3, 2005 6:51 PM