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October 10, 2005
Papo Has Needs
Honestly, there really is an interesting post about why we do these memes. It's coming. You just need to be patient.
In the meantime, here's a Google meme courtesy of Scrivener. Go to Google. Enter your first name (or your nom de blog, if you have one) and the word "needs." Take a gander at what the all-knowing Google Oracle declares that "you" need.
My results (from the first 4 pages worth out of "about 70,000,000" -- I guess that qualifies me as "officially needy") are below the fold.
Googled: "Richard needs"
"Richard Needs Mailing address:" [no thanks, I already have 2]
"Richard Needs: Publications 1990 to Present." [ouch. I'm working on it!]
"Richard Needs Latest Publications." [hey, I got the point, already! Sheesh.]
"I think Richard needs to finish grade school before getting into..." [dang, what did I ever do to you?!]
"Richard needs forgiveness..." [probably]
"Autism means that Richard needs to have life ordered and predictable." [I didn't even know I was autistic. Talk about an ordered and predictable life...]
"Papo King Richard needs his red horse!" [Papo?]
"By now, Richard needs to bolster his claims to the crown..." [who doesn't?]
"... that's why Richard Shrake fills all the needs of the goal-oriented horse person." [I do not want to know what those needs are.]
"What Richard needs is this nice, 15 years old, German boy Very Happy with his great DVD-collection." [no. oh no. no way. don't even think about it.]
"This is all Richard needs. To discover that the pen can be as mighty as the sword is a terrific surprise to him..." [can cliches really be "surprisingly" discovered? I don't think so.]
"But Richard III needs to be more than an entertaining stand-up, and here Hunter falls short." [hey, it worked for Jerry Seinfeld...]
"... and the grandmother failed to consider Richard's needs when she concluded that Richard's foster mother was 'blowing [her] off' on Richard's birthday..." [that's a bad grandmother! And a bad foster mother! No wonder I'm needy.]
"Perhaps Richard needs to be reminded of his own endorsements of Reverse Speech still posted on his website." [I guess I do need to be reminded, because I don't even know what "Reverse Speech" is.]
But the grand prize winner goes to:
"Richard needs to be less obtuse about his wife's feelings..."
This reminds me of one time I got a fortune cookie at a mall in Austin, Texas. The fortune read: "He loves you as much as he can, but he cannot love you much." Talk about adding insult to injury in a food-court!
Need I even ask you to post your most amusing results in comments? I thought not.
Posted by reparent at October 10, 2005 3:34 PM
Comments
Without a left eyelid Jacqueline needs eyedrops to keep her vision--that was number three. One of my other favorites was: "Jackie needs a dose of real-world reality and being an Avon lady doesn't count!"
Ahhh isn't it lovely to have a computer tell you what you need?
Posted by: jmj at October 11, 2005 10:29 AM
Coeurlion's top 5 needs, according to Google --
1. Digital Digressions v2.0
2. Global Dialysis
3. HairyFetishes.com's Personal Ads
4. Airwave Forums
5. Boomerific
Posted by: coeurlion at October 11, 2005 11:33 AM
jessica does need the cameras to be around her….why do you think she became famous?
Jessica Needs Cash [aaaaaamen.]
Jessica needs a bit of time off by herself to process things.
Jessica needs a family that will encourage her in her academic efforts.
Jessica needs some coaching, and instead gets an earful and an eyeful ahead of schedule. [the search engine creatures MUST read my blog...]
Jessica needs to stop pursuing Jason. [but he's so dreamy!]
AND FINALLY...
Jessica needs to rethink her position
on doing adult films.
;)
Posted by: sster at October 11, 2005 9:54 PM
Despite the popularity of the saga of Alice and Bob ("Alice needs to create a space for Bob using what we call “appreciative” moves." and "Alice needs to add the trust anchor used by Bob" and many, many more on this seemingly secretive but boringly technical story), my favorites are:
Alice needs to be re-released in the original language with OPTIONAL English, etc. captioning. [is this just due to Quebec origins?]
Alice needs a spot of tea.[well, usually]
Alice needs to spend ten hours a week with me. [okay! Maybe...]
and, bestest of all,
Alice needs a corporeal being to work in tandem with her programming because she can't fly herself. [Because just you try to fly with no corporeal being....not so easy.]
Posted by: Alice at October 13, 2005 10:50 AM
Crap on a cracker, people -- you're making me squirt milk out my nose!
(That's a colorful expression followed by an allusion to South Park, for those of you reading the Cliff's Notes version of this blog.)
I feel so much closer to all of you now. Except for you, Jackie. That missing eyelid is just plain creepy...
Posted by: Richard ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://reparent.blog.uvm.edu/nav-commenters.gif)
at October 13, 2005 3:16 PM
I've managed to save up roughly $60738 in my bank account, but I'm not sure if I should buy a house or not. Do you think the market is stable or do you think that home prices will decrease by a lot?
Posted by: Courtney Gidts at February 15, 2006 11:54 PM