1) How does the world see you?
"The Spider's Stratagem," Dead Can Dance (Ethereal, indecipherable, manipulating...? No comment.)

2) Will I have a happy life?
"Rio," Duran Duran (Ooh, dancing on the sand & shining -- score!)

3) What do my friends really think of me?
"Poor Leno," Royksopp ("Poor Leno, where you'll be all cold, where you'll be alone..." yikes!)

4) Do people secretly lust after me?
"Tubthumping," Chumbawamba (I'll take this as a Yes, but only when they're drinking. I guess I can live with this.)

5) How can I make myself happy?
"Chop Suey," System of a Down (Mmmm, Chinese food always makes me happy.)

6) What should I do with my life?
"Lacrymosa," Hector Berlioz (Ummm... professional Sicilian mourner? What are you trying to tell me, Magic iTunes?)

7) Will I ever have children?
"Twist of Fate," Olivia Newton-John (Cripes. I guess I'd better start reading those What to Expect When You're Expecting books...)

8) What is some good advice for me?
"One Caress," Depeche Mode (So, I should add more goth-wear to my wardrobe?)

9) How will I be remembered?
"Save Me," Queen (Whichever way you look at this one, it ain't good.)

10) What is my signature dancing song?
"Undone," Owsley (Not a bad song, but not easy to dance to.)

11) What do I think my current theme song is?
"He's a Dream," Shandi (I wish!)

12) What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
"She Fucking Hates Me," Puddle of Mudd (Classic!)

13) What song will play at my funeral?
"Hunting High and Low," A-Ha (Upbeat depression. My favorite!)

14) What type of men/women do I like?
"Superfreak," Rick James [performed on a SNES emulator by nh] (Too perfect for words -- superfreaky and supergeeky! 8-bit FTW!)**

15) What is my day going to be like?
"Big Indian," The Dandy Warhols ("When the future is frightening/ And I seem to be fighting it/ Well, as soon as it's brightening/ Then I feel fine." 'Nuff said.)

* As is the case with all Web memes, GayProf got this from Slaves of Academe (and why couldn't I have come up with a cool blogtitle like that?!), who got it from Delicate Boy, and on and on and on.

**For my less geeky readers, this 8-Ball Answer and my reaction to it push this humble blog to new heights (depths?) of super-uber-geekiness. (Some would replace "geekiness" with "loser-ness," of course.) Here's a translation for those less digitally enhanced: "Superfreak" is Rick James' 1981 mega-ultra-punk-funky homage to a very special, "very kinky" girl. Now, imagine this song played through your old-school Nintendo Entertainment System with nothing but bleeps and bloops. Sweet, I know. 8-Bit music fandom seems to have resurfaced through the actions of a number of bands performing the theme music from beloved video games like Super Mario Brothers and Legend of Zelda. Well, why not use those same sounds to cover popular tunes? The results are bizarre and compelling. Check out the NEScover compilation from Something Awful for your own intro to 8-bit musical madness. The link to the compilation seems to be down, but here's a taste of what it has/had.