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November 7, 2006
It's Election Day...
So, today people head to the polls to elect ...
Wait.
First off, the number of citizens who actually vote in this country is embarassingly small.
Second, the structure of our electoral system now practically guarantees that the incumbent will be reelected. Which discourages people who are dissatisfied with the current political system from voting. Which practically guarantees that incumbents will be reelected. Which discourages...
Vermont has an interesting spin on the encumbency effect this year, as our longstanding Representative, Bernie Sanders will be running for the Senate seat vacated by Jim Jeffords. Sanders' leading opponent is Republican multi-millionaire Rich Tarrant.
If the voters of Vermont who bother to vote do vote for Sanders, as the polls predict they overwhelmingly will, then Vermont will have made Sanders a kind of incumbent-at-large.
Anyway, on this (theoretically) important day, I've got two amusing political anecdotes to share.
Anecdote 1: The Spouse, our friend Frank, and I went to see a production of William Mastrosimone's play Cat's Paw at nearby St. Michael's College. The play was free (and quite good, as it turned out), but required telephone or e-mail reservations. I don't like the "contact us, we'll call you back if there's a problem" reservation system. It makes me nervous when I haven't spoken with a live human who can tell me definitively that I actually do have seats waiting for me. So I called, hoping to get a person. I got a machine. Dispirited but resolute, I left a message, and heard nothing back.
When we arrived at the theater, we learned that there was no reservation for Richard Parent. There was, however, a reservation for Rich Tarrant.
When I explained to the St. Mike's student at the reservations table what had happened, she was ... chagrined ... to say the least. Everyone at St. Mike's thought that Senate candidate and mega-bucks university philanthropist Rich Tarrant would be watching their play. Some students had come to protest, others had prepared mock-adulatory songs. It was quite the kerfuffle.
The Spouse calmly announced: "The part of Richard Tarrant in tonight's performance will be played by Richard Parent. Thank you."
The stage crew had set aside special seats in the front row and everything. We thoroughly enjoyed them. I've never felt so special. Too bad it wasn't really me.
Anecdote 2: I don't usually post dreams to this blog, because they're never as interesting to other people as they are to the dreamer. But this one is special. Last night I had my first-ever political dream.
I dreamed I was at a colonial inn (refurbished) where a symposium was about to begin. I was to present a workshop on reading the Constitution, focusing on the text, the document's structure, the rhetorical impact of word choice, how we engage with it now as a material object, the effect of the various handwritings, etc. It was going to be a great workshop.
In the audience was George W. Bush. As I walked around handing out copies of the Constitution, the President didn't seem interested in taking one. I finally got him to take one, but he refused to even look at it. Instead, he looked around, fiddled his thumbs, fidgeted.
I snapped. I started screaming. "Read the *&^(**(& Constutution, you *(&@*(*&W^! It's the founding document of our &^&*^&^%$&^ country and you %$^%$^ swore to uphold it! And if it's too (**&^(*&^$$@# long for you and your &^%&%^%# attention span, just focus on those first ten amendments, you lazy *&^*&^%*&^%, since you seem to *$%^@#$ hate them so much. Even you should be able to do that!"
Then I turned and walked out of the room. I stopped in the hallway and turned around and walked back into the room. Calmly, I announced, "I'm sorry. That was completely uncharacteristic of me, and inappropriate. I'll take my leave of you now."
As I walked back out of the room, I thought to myself: "Well, guess who's about to be added to the no-fly list?"
I wonder what it could mean?
UPDATE: Clarified that we really did sit in the special, reserved "Rich Tarrant" seats. I still have the reserved sign!
Posted by reparent at November 7, 2006 10:38 AM
Comments
Too bad you're not running. I'd vote for you. Even though you've encouraged our best ever office manager to leave us.
Enjoyed Sat. night and the wittiness you and the spouse brought to the party.
Bonnie
Posted by: Bonnie at November 7, 2006 3:13 PM
Ya got my vote, too.
It's been a fairly frabjous day, overall. New congress. Fingers crossed for the senate. Rummy went down. And...most of the country continues to reserve marriage for people prone to accidental reproduction. Mixed blessings.
Posted by: Liam at November 8, 2006 8:31 PM