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June 18, 2007

Back from the Big Apple

I made it back from NYU and the Faculty Research Network Summer Seminars! And not only that, but my luggage made it back with me!!

Seriously, can air travel get much worse?

WARNING!!! OBLIGATORY WHINY AIR-TRAVEL HORROR STORIES FOLLOW.
READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!

Upon arriving at the Burlington airport for our vacation to the moon, the Spouse and I were informed that our flight to Newark (motto: "Gateway to the Moon") had been cancelled, and that we wouldn't be able to get to the moon for at least a day until they could get us on another flight.

No one screws with The Spouse's vacation.

The Spouse used his super-Spousal powers to psychically beat the ticket counter into submission, and we were put on a flight on another airline to JFK (motto: "Gateway to Newark, Gateway to the Moon"), where we would have to get ourselves to Newark. The airline, we were told, would reimburse us for our ground travel. We also ran into a group of UVM students heading to the moon for a field trip, who were in the same situation we were. We banded together and prepared to fly to JFK. Once at JFK, we would have 4 hours to get to Newark and make it through security to our departure gate. No problem.

What we didn't know is that when you change airlines, even when it's the airline's fault (bad airline! bad!) security takes your suitcases and dismantles them in front of everyone. They take every single item out of your suitcase, parade them around the ticketing area, and then cram them back into the suitcase, wrinkling and breaking as much as they can in the process. How ridiculously violating!

Well, after that, the flight to JFK was delayed. Once we finally took off, we had 3 hours and 15 minutes to get from JFK to Newark.

After arriving at JFK, the belt that carries baggage to the baggage claim broke. It took them an hour to get that fixed. Once we got our bags, we had 2 hours and 15 minutes to get from JFK to Newark. At rush hour. In the New York greater metropolitan area.

We'd missed the last airport shuttle bus ($20 per rider) between the airports, so we took a cab ($120 total with tolls and interstate surcharge, which came to $25 per rider). Our cab driver took us through every borough he could think of, up through Harlem, and then, finally, down to Newark. He did manage to avoid traffic, but really! When we finally arrived at Newark, we had 1 hour to make it through ticketing, bag check-in, and security, and then to get to our departure gate.

Oh, and we had to fight with the airline staff about our reimbursement. Grr.

Somehow, we magically made it to our gate on time, only to learn that we had no plane. And then we had a plane and a flight crew, but no gate personnel. So the flight crew was stuck with us in the departure gate area, waiting for someone to come around and let them onto the plane. So that we could then get onto the plane, too.

Eventually, the Spouse and I (and presumably the undergrads on the field trip) made it to the moon. Miraculously, our luggage did, too. Of course, our luggage didn't make it back from the moon. They'd left the bag in Newark, and I had to go back to the airport in Burlington the next day to pick up our bag, which had decided to spend one last fun-filled night in the greater New York metropolitan area without us. I'd ask it what happened, but what happens in Newark stays in Newark. At least, that's what the bag says.

This was not to be the case with the trip to NYU, however. When I arrived at the airport, I was told that I had no seat on the plane. They'd switched to a smaller plane and had thus fewer seats. So my seat, which I'd paid for a month earlier, was no longer on the inside of the airplane. And not only that, but the only flight they could put me on would arrive at JFK (motto: "You've Got a 1 1/2 Hour Subway Ride Ahead of You!") after the check-in for the Faculty Research Network would have ended. That means no room for you-know-who.

I channeled my inner Spouse and good-cop/bad-cop-ped the ticket agent mercilessly (it's much harder when you're doing this by yourself) until she put me at the top of the stand-by list for the flight I was supposed to have been on. Then I pestered/flattered the gate agents until they removed the people who were supposed to be on the plane but who hadn't shown up yet. I got a seat. On the smaller plane.

Because it was a smaller plane, they didn't have enough room for the luggage. So they took four pieces of luggage off the plane and sent it on the very late flight. Mine, of course, was taken off of the plane.

And the desk staff at NYU refused to accept the luggage when it was delivered. Which meant that I had to be there to get it, no matter what I was doing at the time, or where I was.

My luggage wasn't delivered until 7:45am on Monday, just in time for me to get a very quick shower (with soap!) before the start of the seminar.

On the flight back from JFK, my flight was on-time, and my luggage made it back with me. I can only assume that this is just to keep me off-guard so that I do not expect or prepare for the next preposterous indignity they have in store for me.

I like being in other places. I just hate getting there. I thought the getting there was supposed to be "half the fun." If that's still the case, we really need to rethink our vacations. Getting there by air is no fun at all.

Here endeth the obligatory whiny air travel diatribe. Regular blogging about actually-interesting stuff will resume on Wednesday.

Posted by reparent at June 18, 2007 10:02 AM

Comments

Posted by: Corey at June 26, 2007 8:06 PM